I have this vivid memory of sitting on my grandmas couch waiting and waiting for my cousin to arrive. They lived 7 hours away from my grandparents house and we were all going to be together for a Holiday. I was so excited! I was around the age of 10 and I remember starting to become worried that they hadn’t arrived yet, it was getting close to the evening time and we were expecting them earlier. My grandma sweetly reminded me not to be a worry wart. Of course, they arrived safe and sound, with nothing to worry about. Looking back at that time of my life I laugh and think I truly had nothing to worry about, why was I such a worry wart.
Skip forward 20 years, I am not a mom of 4 and my worry wart stage has taken a HUGE turn. IF at age ten I was a stage 1 worry wart, I have sadly upgraded to a worry wart stage 10!
See now that I have children I am constantly, overtly worried about their safety. (This scary world doesn’t help). Let me expand on this just briefly, to show you how my imaginative brain is not helping the situation. I feel like I am Jason Bourne when I am out in public, I can tell you where the exits are in restaurants in case someone was to come in with a gun, I have already “figured out” how to get out with my children. When driving my eyes are on a swivel and I am always watching for other peoples blinkers, I avoid driving next to large trucks on the side or behind. I have had 4 healthy pregnancies, births and children, and I am worried to have another kid because I am 4 for 4 and the 5th one could be where tragedy could hit. Maybe some of these things don’t seem outrageous but what is outrageous is the fear and the worry I have is affecting my joy.
See I know God says to cast our worries on him. HE CARES FOR US! And I know he loves my children even more then I do. I believe him, I am struggling with letting go of my control. I am working on laying down my cross of trust. I am trying to figure out how to be all IN and not holding back.
Romans 8:38-39 words ring truth, bring security and comfort! (I am working on memorizing this POWERFUL encouragement!)
38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a]neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Can I protect my kids from everything? NO. But there is someone that can. JESUS! And His plan for their lives surpasses anything mine can even dream up! God already has it out it! So I can stop worrying. And while I continue to work on this, I know God will work on me, bringing me gentle reminders, comfort, joy and grace!
THANK YOU JESUS for loving my children even more then I do! Thank you for knowing the plan and holding my children in the palm of your nail pierced hands. Thank you for this gift because I life of worry is no life at all! You knew that, so you provided a way! You are the WAY!