Myths about Homeschooling!!

I had the opportunity to share on Facebook about homeschooling and about a statement I hear all the time when I tell people I homeschool, “I don’t have enough patience to homeschool.” As a mom of 5 and a homeschooling momma I cant not tell how crazy this statement makes me feel. You made have heard this comment before or said it yourself, I know I feel like I don’t have enough patience EVERYDAY so I have said it myself!!! So I wanted to share four MYTHS about homeschooling, and work towards debunking some of these misconceptions.

1. You have to have EXTRA patience to homeschool, and some people are not equipped with that kind of patience. Well friends, I am here today to tell you that this statement is COMPLETELY FALSE!!! I know this to be true because I STRUGGLE GREATLY with patience, I am not a patient person. I believe that God has called our family to homeschool NOT because we have extra patience but actually because we are in NEED of GROWING our patience. You know that common joking reminder to people, that if they pray for patience they will not receive patience but instead receive opportunity to grow their patience. That is how I believe homeschooling is, we are  NOT equipped with MORE patience but we GROW in our patience.


2. Everyone who homeschool thinks that the public school systems and teachers are EVIL. This is completely FALSE! In fact, I was a fifth grade elementary teacher in the public school system before I had kiddos and got the chance to be a stay-at-home-momma, so I can tell you loud and clear that this is FALSE! I have met some amazing teachers, assistants, administration, coaches, janitors, and more! I have met people who view the profession as their ministry and feel called to serve the youth of our community! They are truly amazing individuals and are not evil in the slightest. Of course though we are sinful people living in a fallen world so there are some people, teachers and students who are not so great and are not mission-minded, and who live out their sinful desires. Unfortunately that is the reality we live in. So while this is completely false and a myth that we believe the public school system is evil, we also are passionate about the opportunity to be the ones who are the biggest influence on our kids as they are being educated. We as the parents get to be the ones to teach them in a controlled setting while they are young so we can teach, train and disciple. THEN as they grow and are equipped we get to send them out, as we are biblically called to. In fact, as we disciple our kiddos we get to train them to have a biblical worldview which is not the worldview that is accepted in our current age, and what is not being taught in the school system even with the most mission-minded teachers, because to be blunt they could loose their job if they did. My husband and I, through lots of conversation and prayer have decided that the best way for our family to teach a biblical worldview is to do it at home through homeschooling. Does this mean this is not possible to do for those who go to school? ABSOLUTELY FALSE,  YOU CAN STILL TEACH A BIBLICAL WORLDVIEW!! But, Darren and I feel like it is just more difficult to do it when they are out of the house for 6-8 hours in the day being taught a non-biblical worldview, it is just simply hard to find intentional time when they are with you. (BUT DON’T GIVE UP IF YOU ARE NOT HOMESCHOOLING IT DOESN’T MEAN THAT YOU CAN NOT ESTABLISH A WORLDVIEW! JUST GET CREATIVE AND INTENTIONAL!) 

3. The homeschoolers think that they have a better education and are smarter then public schoolers. This is simply NOT TRUE! The truth is that the public school system has some amazing resources, and some REALLY intelligent teachers in their specialties! In fact, Darren (my hubby) was homeschooled the whole way through from kindergarten to High School and can attest that he was so grateful to his parents for homeschooling but there are things he could have been “smarter” in if he went to school, but at the end of the day we all can’t excel in everything, and he got so many opportunities to do other things like: music, swimming, traveling, cooking, gardening, biblical studies, leading, serving, family relationships and more because he was homeschooled. Here is the other MAJOR factor is that each kiddos is DIFFERENT! They each have different strengths and weaknesses. Therefore we are each going to do well in some subjects and not well in others. Both homeschooling parents and public school parents should strive out best to work to NOT comparing our kiddos to others kiddos (easier said than done, I KNOW). Our passion to be raising households that serve the LORD, and help each kiddos to reach their potential that allows them to do this!

4. Homeschool kids are not socialized. (You knew this one was coming right!) Rest assured my friends this is FALSE!! While this was a concern before and could be still a concern today, I would like to point out that this is a concern regardless of educational choices! There are students who I went to school with (I was public school educated) that people were worried  about their “awkwardness” “shyness” “quirkiness” and at the same time Darren (who was homeschooled) saw the same in the homeschooled world. The truth is like I mentioned above we are ALL made differently and while some are outgoing, some are not, and while some are awkward some are … wait …. we are all awkward have you forgotten your middle school teenage years already? If you have, let me remind you: WE. WERE. ALL. AWKWARD!!! Because we were figuring life out! Let’s all give some grace!! I will note that I am super grateful for all the community building opportunities we have now that those before us didn’t have. Homeschoolers today have co-ops, organized homeschool learning groups, the ability to do public sports, online charter schools, social media homeschool momma/kid meet us and more! SERIOUSLY this is such a blessing to us who get the opportunity to homeschooling but desire to walk this journey with others! Bottom line: if you are awkward your kids will probably be awkward because you are socializing your kids to yourself NO MATTER IF THEY ARE HOMESCHOOLED OR NOT! You are helping develop their tastes, interest, likes and dislikes. You are the ones presenting the options of what to watch, do, read, etc. So we ALL should be concerned about socializations. Alright, did I cover and say enough about socialization? Kids = Awkward and we socialize our kids to ourselves regardless of education so really We = Awkward.

I’m sure there are more myths out there just waiting to be debunked but these are my top 4! I want to end by sending so much love and GRACE! If you are currently homeschooling:

If you are not homeschooling but are interested, PLEASE reach out if you have questions. It can be intimidating! But remember this you are not alone, there are so many resources out there and God will equip you not always the way you want Him to but I believe He desires to show and lead you in this journey.

IF YOU DON’T HOMESCHOOL please hear me LOUD and CLEAR: I LOVE YOU! YOU ARE LOVED! THERE IS NO JUDGMENT OR CONDEMNATION! Parenting is hard, but we are commissioned by God to pray and make the best decision for our family. So I would encourage you as parents sit down (or better yet go on a date) and talk about your education decisions for your family. AND if public school is what you both through prayer think is best then guess what: YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT CHOICE!!! Let the Holy Spirit convict you and guide you in the path of His righteousness! This parenting journey is hard (I KNOW IT!) and we are here for you on this walk!

Here is some fun memes… #sorrynotsorry couldn’t help it 😉

Mentorship – Culture = Titus 2

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MENTORSHIP

I am GUILTY!!!

I am guilty of complaining that I don’t have a mentor in my life and I am guilty of not being a mentor to someone else!

There are many ladies in my life I value their deep friendships and speak into their lives. There are also women I greatly respect who from time to time I seek out council from. However, as far as a mentorship relationship where I am weekly providing and receiving: check ins, spiritual guidance, parental growth opportunities and wisdom for the stage of life, that is not what I am offering or getting right now in my life.

I have said over and over: I just wish someone would become my mentor. Well, I have a couple things I have realized from listening and reading when it comes to current day mentorship:

  • We have a culture have created what people refer to as mommy wars or women wars. It is where we say, “you do you,” but behind your back all your choices and actions are the reason why your family is the way they are. We heighten this with the mommy guilt train. Then we turn around and say, “I just wish there was someone to help provide guidance, and support for me!” Then someone trying to follow the Titus 2 mentality comes in with the support we were JUST asking for and our response is, “Parenting was WAY different back when you raised kids.” (aka you have nothing to offer me, I will just go look up online what to do.)
    • What happens when we fall into this downward spiral trap? Well the riches of support, love, an encouragement from the Titus 2 ladies in our lives get replaced with: pride, arrogance, self-motivation, self-reliance. AND then we create a seasoned generation who doesn’t know how to support and guide when they are getting pushed away.
  • I have also realized if we want to change the culture we need to approach it with grace to the seasoned ladies and encouragement that we want to hear from them!
  • We also need to be the change we wish to see (ESPEICALLY for the sake of the NEXT generation). When I say change, it comes with a challenging question that requires action from all of us: “Who are you mentoring?” Not just, who are you friends with, who do you pray for. I am talking about purposeful, intentional, spiritual guidance.

Other convicting challenges I need in my life when it comes to mentorship is:

  • I will be held accountable to what I teach (James 3:1) this is not a “I get to tell you want to do but not live that way advice column.”
  • We all need someone to mentor us as we mentor others. In other words: you need to have someone mentoring you that has someone mentoring them.
  • Another reminder when it comes to mentoring and mentorship is that this is not a one and done relationship. Which is two fold: one we can’t say I have mentored once and so I get my gold star and I am done. And TWO (most important) we can not say that the lady mentoring us is the one and only person to mentor, speak wisdom and evoke spiritual change in us because THEY ARE NOT GOD.

So what is the next step? I heard once a wise woman say if you are not praying about who to mentor or who will mentor you, then you are missing the heart. The heart being that God has a master plan and He knows our needs and desires. Prayer can bring to the forefront an acute awareness and a passionate Godly pursuit of mentorship. There is nothing wrong with admiring passions and heart of a Godly woman then asking them to come along side you and be your mentor or mentee. BUT all the parties need to be “ready” and prayer prepares them and you, because of the gentle nudging of the Holy Spirit.

Who are you Mentoring?

So Join me in praying for purposeful mentorships! If this is intriguing or inspiring please share on FACEBOOK, and PINTEREST. We can be the current that changes the directional path of the culture, a little rock thrown into a pond cause ripples that expand and expand.

 

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