I am GUILTY!!!
I am guilty of complaining that I don’t have a mentor in my life and I am guilty of not being a mentor to someone else!
There are many ladies in my life I value their deep friendships and speak into their lives. There are also women I greatly respect who from time to time I seek out council from. However, as far as a mentorship relationship where I am weekly providing and receiving: check ins, spiritual guidance, parental growth opportunities and wisdom for the stage of life, that is not what I am offering or getting right now in my life.
I have said over and over: I just wish someone would become my mentor. Well, I have a couple things I have realized from listening and reading when it comes to current day mentorship:
- We have a culture have created what people refer to as mommy wars or women wars. It is where we say, “you do you,” but behind your back all your choices and actions are the reason why your family is the way they are. We heighten this with the mommy guilt train. Then we turn around and say, “I just wish there was someone to help provide guidance, and support for me!” Then someone trying to follow the Titus 2 mentality comes in with the support we were JUST asking for and our response is, “Parenting was WAY different back when you raised kids.” (aka you have nothing to offer me, I will just go look up online what to do.)
- What happens when we fall into this downward spiral trap? Well the riches of support, love, an encouragement from the Titus 2 ladies in our lives get replaced with: pride, arrogance, self-motivation, self-reliance. AND then we create a seasoned generation who doesn’t know how to support and guide when they are getting pushed away.
- I have also realized if we want to change the culture we need to approach it with grace to the seasoned ladies and encouragement that we want to hear from them!
- We also need to be the change we wish to see (ESPEICALLY for the sake of the NEXT generation). When I say change, it comes with a challenging question that requires action from all of us: “Who are you mentoring?” Not just, who are you friends with, who do you pray for. I am talking about purposeful, intentional, spiritual guidance.
Other convicting challenges I need in my life when it comes to mentorship is:
- I will be held accountable to what I teach (James 3:1) this is not a “I get to tell you want to do but not live that way advice column.”
- We all need someone to mentor us as we mentor others. In other words: you need to have someone mentoring you that has someone mentoring them.
- Another reminder when it comes to mentoring and mentorship is that this is not a one and done relationship. Which is two fold: one we can’t say I have mentored once and so I get my gold star and I am done. And TWO (most important) we can not say that the lady mentoring us is the one and only person to mentor, speak wisdom and evoke spiritual change in us because THEY ARE NOT GOD.
So what is the next step? I heard once a wise woman say if you are not praying about who to mentor or who will mentor you, then you are missing the heart. The heart being that God has a master plan and He knows our needs and desires. Prayer can bring to the forefront an acute awareness and a passionate Godly pursuit of mentorship. There is nothing wrong with admiring passions and heart of a Godly woman then asking them to come along side you and be your mentor or mentee. BUT all the parties need to be “ready” and prayer prepares them and you, because of the gentle nudging of the Holy Spirit.
So Join me in praying for purposeful mentorships! If this is intriguing or inspiring please share on FACEBOOK, and PINTEREST. We can be the current that changes the directional path of the culture, a little rock thrown into a pond cause ripples that expand and expand.