Any parents out there finding themselves consistently redirecting, correcting or discipling?! That is a silly question right!
I find myself stumbling over my words, personalizing things that are not personal, and saying phrases like, “because I said so!” More times then I would like to count.
HOWEVER, I have found a resource that personally is working wonders for me:
Wise Words for Moms by Ginger Hubbard (I found it on amazon, this $4.00 chart has been way worth more than $4.00)!
It looks like a calendar and I leave it on my fridge. I did a Facebook live, talking about how I use the Wise Words for Moms.
This awesome tool gives a column of Child’s behavior in which you choose what it was that was sinful and needing redirection, then the following column provides Heart Probing questions to have conversations with your child, the next over has a Reproof (“Put Off”) verse and then an Encouragement (“Put On”) and lastly a column of additional verses as resources.
My hope is that these conversations and verses will become like second nature to me, but until that time I value this wonderful resource.
There are times when I don’t know what sin to address or wasn’t in the room when it happen, during those time I am turning to this outline. (I heard about it from a video conference Pastor Paul David Tripp led called Parenting).
Questions to ask your child:
- What was going on? (Full picture not, what did you do, what did they do etc)
- What were you thinking and feeling as it was happening? (Heart question)
- What did you do in response? (personal evaluation of actions)
- Why did you do it? What were you seeking to accomplish? (looking for them to point out the sinful action they participated in)
- What was the result? (this would be the time to point out how others are feeling, redirection and even consequences)
Tripp said he used these questions on his kids as young as 2. That is a lot of thinking and processing for one so young however, a dear friend of mine suggested that perhaps since younger children don’t always have the words nor do they easily look at their hearts or those feelings of others, that as a parent you could talk through both the questions and answers with the kiddos who are younger and still learning and processing.
Life is a journey, one that has its ups and downs. I believe that is it hard to look at behavior as sinful but we were born into this world as sinners and needing grace, love, hope, and mercy. And, that is exactly why we need to teach our kiddos the sinful part of our actions but just as IMPORTANTLY we need to show them the grace, hope, and love.
One thought on “Wise Words for Moms”
This is great! I also saw an article last week about not teaching your kids to immediately say “Sorry!” because then the apology loses its impact, because they probably aren’t really sorry. The better way to deal with it is to have them act out their “sorriness” by showing real concern (if they punch the other, then get something like a Kleenex for the tears and hug them.)