My husband has been working on leading our family spiritually since we have been married. And there has always been this HUGE speed bump that keeps popping up when he leads. This speed bump make it hard for him to have the confidence and ability to lead. It can frustrate him, take over and steal his position. This speed bump can be SUPER overly sensitive and has a REALLY hard time with understanding.
This speed bump is: ME! Yes you might have guessed it! I find myself desiring this Spiritual Leader BUT not allowing the space for him husband to lead.
For those of that don’t know me, I am a leader. I was that kid that people said when I was “guiding my brother around,” that “she is just working on her leadership skills.”
( If I may recommend a friend Courageous Mom and her blog on how daughters can help their brothers become leaders. This was an inspiring blog to me! Especially given my history and have a daughter and sons. )
I believe BOTH WOMEN and MEN, GIRL and BOYS can be and should WORK on their leadership skills! Yet, what I am observing in my family life, both in my relationship with my husband and my kids relationships with each other IS since females can tend to be emotional, sensitive, and yet determined and inspired we can “take over” or jump in to being the leader. While, males who are logical, thinkers, and dreamers tend to “let” females lead. I have seen this happen in the form of respect at times, see my husbands wants to respect me so he lets me lead because his way of communication is respect. (Men give respect because they want to receive respect). But females being driven with emotions want love and get confused “why their husband is not leading, if they LOVED their family or their wife they would step up and lead.” Confusing right? And this spinning cycle continues until I decided to change my leadership style when it comes to the spiritual leading of the home.
If we look to God’s word it says that in 1 Peter 3:7:
7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
This verse has caused me to ponder a lot, first because I don’t like being referred to as “weaker,” so I went to do some reading about this and I ran across a blog that helped me realize that my skills and qualities are special and different then those of a man, but still valued and important! And a mans qualities are equally important and needed, and have been selected by our All Knowing Father to be the leader of the home. (Lots more to discover, read, and pray about). But because of their position and role within the family units I need to be doing several things:
- PRAYING for my husband
- PRAYING I will learn to co-lead UNDER my husband
- START finding ways to encourage, respect and practice submission
Let us start with PRAYER:
Lord, I pray my husband will lead at home. I pray he would lead with gentleness and understand. I also pray that I WILL learn how to let him lead! I pray I would encourage him to lead and reduce the amount of speed bumps I create. Thank you Lord for creating roles within the family, I know you have a plan for our lives and I look forward to seeing the blessings that come from honoring your Word!
I would like to leave this quote for all the wives out there, as a way to encourage us to continue to lead but in a new light:
DON’T CREATE FOLLOWERS
Join me in helping our husband lead as their partners and Join me in creating leaders in our kids!